Ruminations
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'. -John Greenleaf Whittier.


Another Shules/Lassiet story! No deaths, but a bit of sadness. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

PsychPsychPsychPsych

Shawn Spencer sighed as he reached for the remote to turn off his T.V.

It was well after midnight, and a few years ago, his night would have just been starting. But lately he was going to bed earlier and earlier. Maybe he was just getting old.

He reached for his phone and checked for missed calls or texts. There was nothing, just as he suspected. He didn't know how to feel about that.

Three months and eleven days ago, he had watched his girlfriend drive down the street, her suitcases in the backseat of her car. He remembered it like it was yesterday, and it was so painfully clear to him. But it was his own fault, really. They had been together for two years, and more and more often, she had been choosing her job over him. More importantly, she had been choosing her partner, Carlton Lassiter. At first, it didn't bother him so much. Growing up with a cop for a father, he understood the importance of the badge and partners. Partners had to put their lives in each other's hands every day, and the bond that developed as a result was incredibly strong. Long before he and Juliet had started dating, he had seen the strength of that bond tested over and over. And every time, they came back stronger than ever. He had been understand and patient, until the last time.

_He laughed as Juliet straddled his hips and kissed his neck. She had been working late every night this week, and finally tonight she had gotten home at a decent hour. He was thrilled._

_But just as their lips met again, her phone started to ring._

_His eyes shot open. _"Don't answer it, Jules," _he groaned._

"Sorry, babe. I have to." _She rolled off of Shawn and grabbed her phone_. "O'Hara."

_He watched as her face fell, and he instinctively knew that she would be leaving._

"Yes, yes. I understand. Thank you." _She closed the phone and got out of bed, grabbing her clothes._

_Shawn groaned. _"What happened?"

"It's Lassiter."

_He should have known_… "Of course it is."

_Juliet looked at him, a strange expression on her face_. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Shawn scowled and looked away. "Nothing."

"Shawn…"

"Just go, Jules." _He wasn't the smartest guy in the world, but he knew her well enough to know that if Lassiter called, she would go._

_Sighing, Juliet finished getting dressed. Then she went to the bedroom door. But before she walked out, she said, _"I'll call you."

_He didn't respond, but when she was gone, he whispered, _"Happy anniversary, Jules."

She was gone for hours before he finally got a text explaining that Lassiter had been in an accident and she was going to stay in the hospital with him for a while. Shawn didn't argue; there wasn't much use in it. Instead he spent a day going over what he wanted to say. Then he called Juliet and asked her to take some time off, away from him, away from the job, away from everything, to evaluate and decide exactly what she wanted. He felt a little foolish asking her to do it, but he cared about her more than anything in the world. As immature and ridiculous as he could be at times, her happiness was all that really mattered to him.

He wasn't surprised when she showed up to pack a bag a few hours after talking to him on the phone. He had hugged her and even carried her bag to the car for her. Then he had watched as she drove down the road and out of his sight.

The vibration of his phone startled him out of his thoughts, and he quickly grabbed it. "Hello?"

"Shawn?"

Her voice sent his heart racing. "Jules…"

"I know it's been a while, Shawn, but you were totally right."

He leaned back against the couch. "I was?"

"Yes. I needed that time to sort my life out, and I did." There was a hint of sadness in her voice as she spoke.

"You're breaking up with me?" There was no anger in his voice, only a calm acceptance.

"I'm sorry, Shawn. I do love you, but…"

"I understand, Jules."

"I'll come get my things as soon as I can."

"Okay." He paused. "Are you happy now?"

"Yes, Shawn. I think I am."

"Good. I'm happy for you, Juliet."

He could almost hear the smile in her voice as she said, "Thank you, Shawn."

Slowly he pulled the phone away from his ear and ended it. As he set the phone down, he heard the chime from his computer signaling that he'd received an email. He considered ignoring it, but then he decided to go ahead and check it out.

The email was from Juliet, and there were several pictures attached to it. The first was a picture of herself and Lassiter on what looked to be the day Lassiter was released from the hospital. The second picture, taken from the passenger's seat of a car, was of Juliet driving with sunglasses on and a silly grin plastered on her face.

Shawn smiled sadly as he continued through the pictures. He wasn't surprised to see that a number of pictures were of Juliet and Lassiter, but he was surprised by the lack of animosity that he felt. He loved Juliet very much, enough to know that he wanted her to be happy, whatever that meant.

And apparently it meant Lassiter.

Slowly he clicked on the last picture. It was of a marriage certificate, with Juliet's and Lassiter's signatures scrawled across the appropriate lines. He stared at it for a long time before he finally closed the picture and went back to the email itself. There was a very short message from Juliet; he surmised that she didn't want to break up with him in it, which was why she had called. But the truth was, they had broken up the moment she drove away three months ago. His eyes scanned over the simple words.

_Thank you, Shawn. Love, Juliet._

With a sad smile, he turned off the computer.

"Be happy, Jules."

The End.

A/N: Sometimes I struggle with Shawn really settling down, and I think we're going to see some issues with it next season. But in the end, I think Shules will win out on the show. Doesn't mean I can't play in other sandboxes. :) Thanks for reading, and please review!


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